he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize