just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
