my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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