Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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