dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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