im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
