So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
