I hate your face
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
