Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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