he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
