I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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