I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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