Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Randomize
