Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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