Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
