What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
