Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Randomize
