lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
