he puts the penis in happiness.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
is that a dick in a sweater?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
