i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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