She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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