I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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