I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize