Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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