why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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