My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
