I wish I could teleport
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
