So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize