we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
