Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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