my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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