If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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