he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
