Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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