guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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