Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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