i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
This is the high leading the old right now
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
