I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Im part way to drunk.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
