Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
