Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
