Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
