i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize