It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
