found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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