this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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