Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Randomize
