So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
