im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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