k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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