Umm I'm too high to move.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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