that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
