not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
