everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
