The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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