College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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