Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
