Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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