oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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