When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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