What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
either way he was missing a nipple.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
