We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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