I wanna bring you to show and tell
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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