Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
So squirting runs in the family.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
