so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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