Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
