who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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