I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
