Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
