im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize