My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
