sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
