this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
