Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
