Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
