Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Damn victory sex feels great
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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